Nordstrom and Holt Renfrew are out of touch

And out of their tiny minds.

No, really.  And this:

I’m just embarrassed for any woman of any age who buys clear knee jeans. Dear God.  

The bus shelter in front of my office building has carried this Holt Renfrew ad for the past several weeks. I cringe in embarrassment every time I walk by it:

Any woman who thinks that this ridiculous outfit – what is apparently a swim suit, under a trench coat, with 6″ pink platform heels – is appropriate for any conceivable kind of event, be it party, beach, backyard, workplace, or even Halloween, is out of her mind.

Is this an indictment on the advertising world, that they think women are so gullible as to wear preposterous costumes like this? Or is it an indictment on women because, let’s face it, some gal somewhere must be forking out real $$ for this shit.

So ends my little rant.

More things I love about Nora Ephron

Her essay The Lost Strudel from I Feel Bad About my Neck. I read this very short piece on the subway one morning, years ago, and laughed out loud. And then re-read it immediately.

I’ve had a craving for cabbage strudel ever since (which objectively sounds disgusting), but I’m a bit afraid to try it, since it likely won’t live up to Nora’s praises (even Nora had trouble meeting her own expectations of strudel). And then I’d just be disappointed.  I’m sure Nora would tell me that’s not a healthy way to go through life (were she still with us).

I especially admire the line “I dropped Ed Levine’s name so hard you could hear it in New Jersey.” 

Nora Ephron’s tribute to Meryl Streep. Brilliant, funny – and her delivery is impeccable.  The crowd is mesmerized — when she talks about going into Meryl’s trailer at the end of her tribute, the entire audience of celebs and self-important people hang on her every word:

Plus – what a great outfit, right?

Nora Ephron’s tribute to Mike Nichols (only Nora can make a really bad pun hilarious):



Hawaiian pizza

I heard on the radio yesterday morning that Hawaiian pizza is a Canadian invention. And Wikipedia supports that. Apparently invented in a Chatham, ON pizzeria in 1962.

What troubled me was the knee-jerk reaction of the dude on the radio, who said “Obviously not Canada’s finest hour”. And everybody laughed, ha ha ha.

Really? It’s not my go-to order, but every now and then, I love a simple ham and pineapple pizza. I didn’t even know ordering it was patriotic.

Wikipedia also says that the Hawaiian pizza is the most popular pizza in Australia, accounting for 15% of pizza sales! 15% of Australians (an entire continent!) cannot be wrong.

What do you think of Hawaiian pizza?

Worst app idea, ever

I saw an ad on the subway yesterday for a new app. It’s called “Frank: Your Social Mirror”, and here’s the pitch:

Find out what your friends really think about you, and tell them what you think about them, too – anonymously.

Frank claims that:

By answering your friend’s questions on Frank, you will be supporting them through their everyday decisions. Everything from what to wear to a party, to what qualities they can work on to improve their social relationships.

(I’m not even going to parse the grammar of that first sentence.)

Examples on the website include:

Should I purchase these pants?

What do you think I can improve about myself?

Dear freaking Jesus, no.

Let’s just create a vehicle to allow girls to bully and name-call each other anonymously. Because, that’s what it’s going to be. I’ve been a teen girl, I’ve gone to high school with teen girls, and I’ve watched Tina Fey’s documentary Mean Girls.

I don’t mean to demean my gender, but come on. Young girls easily and mercilessly break through the thin veneer of civilized society all the time. They are vicious. They do not need encouragement to do it over social media and without attribution.

We all know what the answers to those questions are going to be:

No, Brittany, you shouldn’t buy those pants, you fat cow. We all hate you and you have no friends.

Stop being a horrible skanky slut Marissa. You are a loser. And keep away from my boyfriend.

It’s never going to be:

Brittany, trust your own judgment. You know yourself best.

Marissa, just be yourself. You are perfect the way you are.

I’m traumatized at the very thought of anyone, especially a young girl, willingly using this app. Everyone I’ve mentioned this app to OVERWHELMINGLY thinks it is the WORST idea ever.

Or as hubby put it, I’m already full of self-loathing. I don’t need it validated by my so-called friends.

Screw off, Frank.