And there’s a flat pair too. They wouldn’t be all that horrible, but for the camel toes.
Another instalment of Horrible & Expensive Jeans, courtesy of Nordstrom.
My friend Janet was on Twitter about these jeans a couple weeks ago. In addition to being droopy & unsightly (and apparently pre-worn & dirty), they are Cdn$756. I think even Giselle Bundchen would look unattractive in them.
So I thought I’d peruse the Nordstrom site and see what other horrors are on offer:
These are called jeans with “side panels”. They retail at Cdn$1200. And come with a free trip to the Emergency Department (at least in Canada, where emergency health care is free). I think they would really work with the camel-toed shoes from yesterday.
“Snow imitation pearl-embellished”. For only Cdn$1500. They are supposed to look like you were caught in a snow storm. Or in a paint ball game that uses sticky pom-poms and pearls.
“Oversized pocket jeans” – with handy pockets on the calves. Because that’s how I like to carry my keys around – as close to my ankles as possible. Bargain priced at Cdn$1300.
And I’m debating which is more awful: the “hem flare” jeans or the “frill flare” jeans. I think the see-through hem flare wins. (Although the frill flare is more expensive.) I also think they really don’t work with sneakers. I also don’t understand what Ms Frill Flare is wearing on her feet. It looks like a turquoise bathroom brush duct-taped onto her foot.
But to redeem Nordstrom a teeny bit, I think these jeans would be pretty amazing on the right (very tall skinny) person:
Although they are Cdn$900+, which is about $800 – $850 more than I pay for my jeans @ Reitmans or The Gap.
Apparently these are real. My law firm’s Gal Friday, Franca, took a picture of them last week. They are “camel-toed” shoes.
They were in Specchio’s window. According to an internet search, they also come in flats:
Specchio is a ridiculous shoe store on Bay Street, a stone’s throw from my office, where you may find a decent pair of boots amongst displays of $1200 sneakers that are irrationally ugly.
I walked by Specchio’s window later this week and didn’t see the camel-toed monstrosities. I’m hoping they were removed after complaints from passers-by; I fear they were sold.