And there’s a flat pair too. They wouldn’t be all that horrible, but for the camel toes.
Another instalment of Horrible & Expensive Jeans, courtesy of Nordstrom.
My friend Janet was on Twitter about these jeans a couple weeks ago. In addition to being droopy & unsightly (and apparently pre-worn & dirty), they are Cdn$756. I think even Giselle Bundchen would look unattractive in them.
So I thought I’d peruse the Nordstrom site and see what other horrors are on offer:
These are called jeans with “side panels”. They retail at Cdn$1200. And come with a free trip to the Emergency Department (at least in Canada, where emergency health care is free). I think they would really work with the camel-toed shoes from yesterday.
“Snow imitation pearl-embellished”. For only Cdn$1500. They are supposed to look like you were caught in a snow storm. Or in a paint ball game that uses sticky pom-poms and pearls.
“Oversized pocket jeans” – with handy pockets on the calves. Because that’s how I like to carry my keys around – as close to my ankles as possible. Bargain priced at Cdn$1300.
And I’m debating which is more awful: the “hem flare” jeans or the “frill flare” jeans. I think the see-through hem flare wins. (Although the frill flare is more expensive.) I also think they really don’t work with sneakers. I also don’t understand what Ms Frill Flare is wearing on her feet. It looks like a turquoise bathroom brush duct-taped onto her foot.
But to redeem Nordstrom a teeny bit, I think these jeans would be pretty amazing on the right (very tall skinny) person:
Although they are Cdn$900+, which is about $800 – $850 more than I pay for my jeans @ Reitmans or The Gap.
Apparently these are real. My law firm’s Gal Friday, Franca, took a picture of them last week. They are “camel-toed” shoes.
They were in Specchio’s window. According to an internet search, they also come in flats:
Specchio is a ridiculous shoe store on Bay Street, a stone’s throw from my office, where you may find a decent pair of boots amongst displays of $1200 sneakers that are irrationally ugly.
I walked by Specchio’s window later this week and didn’t see the camel-toed monstrosities. I’m hoping they were removed after complaints from passers-by; I fear they were sold.
Made this for dinner last night:
2 large eggs
1/2 cup liquid egg whites
5 oz evaporated milk (fat-free)
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1/4 tsp sage
Whisk together in medium bowl.
2 tsp vegetable oil
3 large chicken/turkey sausages, casings removed and crumbled
1 large Granny Smith (or whatever) apple, cored and cut into medium dice
Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add sausages and cook until no longer pink. Add apples and saute until golden brown, a few minutes.
Pour mixture and filling into pie plate sprayed with Pam. Top with grated cheddar cheese (about 3/4 cup). Cook at 400 for 25-30 minutes until set.
Let stand for 5 minutes. Cut into 4 wedges and serve with salad.
Slightly adapted from Pam Anderson’s (no, not the Baywatch one) The Perfect Recipe for Losing Weight and Eating Great.
Love all her cookbooks.
Because I love Beauty and the Beast. And it just makes me smile. OK?
These are a pain in the ass to make, but sooooo good.
Found this list on Pinterest under the heading 56 Lists to Make When You are Feeling Down. I’m intrigued by the seemingly random number 56.
Here are the suggestions:
- Favorite memories
- Your best qualities
- Best days you’ve lived
- Compliments you’ve received
- What you like the most about yourself
- Your most precious possessions
- Bucket list of things to do
- Things that make you happy
- Positive adjectives to describe yourself
- Your values
- Favorite ways to relax
- Fun things to do at home
About your people:
- People you love
- People loving you
- How you met your favorite people
- People you would like to meet
- What you like to do with your friends
- What you like to do with your family
- People you would like to reconnect with
- Things you would like to do with your friends & family
- People who inspire you
- Every friend you ever made
- People who have positively influenced you
- Gift ideas for your favorite people
- Everything you love about your partner
- People you want to send a thank you note to
- Date night ideas
About your accomplishments:
- Things that you are grateful for
- Things you are proud of
- The scariest things you’ve done
- Dreams that became reality
- Biggest accomplishments
- Ways to celebrate your wins
- All the things you are good at
About your dreams:
- Life goals
- Countries you would like to visit
- Things you would like to do
- Stories you would like to write about
- Adventures you would like to live
- Dreams for the future
- Where you would like to live
- What you will be doing in the next few years
- Things you would like to get
- Skills you would like to learn
- Wish list
Your favourite things:
- Favorite songs
- Funniest jokes
- Favorite movies
- Favorite TV shows
- Favorite books
- Favorite places
- Favorite food
- Favorite restaurants
- Favorite parks in town
- Favorite quotes
- Favorite podcasts
I’m inclined to start with my favourites.
Our book club just read, and adored, When Breath Becomes Air. Of course, since it’s a memoir about a physician who discovers he’s dying of lung cancer, and then writes a book (this book) that he had always aspired to write, I had already read it. Some months ago. Shortly after it was published, in fact. Because, it’s a memoir about dying, and I am compelled to read them.
I just bought:
These are the latest in a long line of books about dying I have read in recent years. (I particularly like dying spouses, but very sick spouses and friends qualify also.)
Books about women with breast cancer were a theme for a while (inspired by my sister, undoubtedly):
And now I’m newly bummed to see that Meredith Norton, the author of Lopsided (she had an extremely aggressive form of breast cancer), died FOUR YEARS AGO:
If anyone has suggestions for memoirs about dead and dying friends and spouses – let me know. It looks like I’m staying on this path for a while now.
Ballet buddy Barb and I went to see The National Ballet of Canada’s production of The Winter’s Tale on Wednesday night. Although we were both English lit majors in the day, and read our more than fair share of Shakespeare, we knew absolutely zip about this play.
I wasn’t particularly psyched to go. The posters for the ballet were pretty monochrome and blah (sorry NBOC, but I was uninspired):
And I knew it was a long ballet – 2 1/2 hours with intermissions. I was tired, work was tedious and overwhelming; it seemed like a bit of an imposition to go. I trudged along to the Four Seasons with low expectations and low energy.
Hold the phone. It was beyond fabulous and invigorating, and I haven’t stopped talking about it since.
I can’t decide what I loved best about this ballet:
- the choreography, a perfect meld of traditional and modern
- the performances – esp. Piotr Stanczyk, whose descent into jealous madness is told on his face and through his off-balance contortions throughout (he’s a gifted actor as well)
- the score by Joby Talbot
- the exuberant (I think I stole that word from the NBOC programme) second Act – I need that music and those images on a loop in my brain from November 1 to Feb 28, every dreary winter:
- the scenery and silk staging for the violent seas
- Jamie Street’s awesome death as Mamillius (that kid can die like nobody’s business)
- plus let’s not forget the gorgeous costumes – it is not a monochrome ballet at all – the jewel tones in Act 1 were awesome
The TO Star loved it also (4 stars/4 stars):
If you can manage to go (only 3 performances left), please do. Clearly Shakespeare could not make up his mind whether this was a comedy or a tragedy, so he threw it all in, plus the kitchen sink. And Christopher Wheeldon’s ballet tells the great mess of a story, emotionally, with precision and remarkable beauty.